Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize