OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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