Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
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I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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