Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize