the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize