check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize