yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
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Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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