ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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