hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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