you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
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she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
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Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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