I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize