eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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