That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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