dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
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It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
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and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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