yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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