i permit you to call me
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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