So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
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idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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