In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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