$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it because I queefed?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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