No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
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So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
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GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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