32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
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You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
These tits shall not be calmed
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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