who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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