I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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