The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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