happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize