The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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