ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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