Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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