My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
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You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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