hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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