Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you had me at cake vodka
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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