I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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