Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize