Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
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Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
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No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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