ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's never too late to be topless.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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