I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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