just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
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Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
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His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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