guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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