He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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