I am in a vortex of obligation.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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