Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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