Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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