omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize