two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize