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Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
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