SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Are my feet made of real feet?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize