We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize