the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize