I want to make a zoo with you.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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