New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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