Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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